Rob Judge - Almost Died To Get A Date!

Today's article was conceived in its totality a split second before I was nearly annihilated.



At 6:23pm, on Saturday, my business partner Zack and I were sitting outside at a sidewalk café. We were enjoying the fading sunlight of an usually balmy spring day.

After we squared away the check, we stood up and started strolling down a quiet side street in the West Village. When we were a few paces from the café, Zack pointed out a girl across the street.

“Hey man,” Zack said in a familiar tone, nudging me, “There’s your next girlfriend. Go meet her.”

I laughed, but parried the challenge. “Nah,” I said, “I’m stuffed from dinner. I’ll meet my next girlfriend tonigh—”

Before I could finish the excuse, a loud tire screech sounded behind us—the unmistakable sound of a car losing control.

I whipped around to find a yellow van cab racing toward us. Before the reality of this even registered, the van popped over the curb and smashed head-on into a store front not 3 feet from us. The impact was that of an enraged battering ram, the van had been moving with such speed that the back wheels actually lifted off the ground.

Paralyzed, I just stared.

One second the van was driving, now it was lodged into a wall. Its crumbled hood looking like a severed human face with the nose freshly lopped off. But instead of blood, the van gushed gasoline.

Looking down I saw the deadly black liquid pooling around my boots. The van’s door whooshed open, someone inside screaming, “It’s leaking gas! RUN!”

The passengers scattered in all directions. Zack grabbed me by the hood of my sweatshirt, “Come on, man! Let’s get the hell out of here!”

“Yeah,” I said, craning my neck, trying to make sense of what just happened. “Let’s go.”

We darted up the block, not a word spoken between us.

At the corner, a man cradling a baby stared at us, his mouth hanging open. “You two,” he whispered, rocking the baby, “Someone’s watching out for you two. You’re lucky to be alive. Damn lucky.”

It was then that the gravity of what had just happened washed over me. My brain was like a jammed movie projector, playing the scene over and over in the theater of my memory.

All the cliché if’s surfaced: If we’d been walking a pace slower, if we’d stopped for half a second.

Then, because the moment was inextricably tied to the scene, I thought of my interrupted excuse right before the screech. “I’ll meet my next girlfriend tonigh—” Another tonight almost didn’t exist.




Here we go again, I can hear you sigh, another boring anecdote about a near-death experience that made someone realize the importance of living life to the fullest. You’re only half right.

While yes, nearly having my body crushed between the grill of a New York cab and a concrete store front made me appreciate the beauty of life, I’d rather focus on that interrupted moment before impact, the “I’ll meet my next girlfriend tonigh—” moment.

As anyone who’s applied dating advice to (actually) meeting women knows, the only real helpful information is that which gets you to change your bad mindsets.

Because as we all know your mindsets dictate how you think which dictates how you feel which dictates how you behave which dictates how attractive you are. Therefore, I’m relaying my nerve-wrecking anecdote because I want shift one itty, bitty little distinction in your mind: the difference between living hope versus living reality.

Had I died last weekend, do you think I would’ve gone to my grave content I’d done everything I’ve set out to do? Hell no! There are so many more girls I want to meet, projects I want to finish, places I want to see, and things (and people) I want to do.

How, then, will I be content when it is time for me to die and the out-of-control taxi doesn’t miss by a few feet?

Answer: By choosing to live my life in reality, not hope.

I devoted an entire chapter to “hope versus realty” in our book, but this weekend reinforced it.

To live in hope is to wake up with the perpetual belief that “things are going to get better.” Living in hope feels nice because you feel as if you’re taking the active steps to improve your life.

You read the self-help books, you join the mastermind group or message board, you watch the seminars and absorb the knowledge. You’re convinced that you’re not just another loser—you’re making progress!

But I call bullshit—you’re not making progress, you’re just wallowing in hope. If you aren’t actually making tangible gains toward your goals each day, you’re just another disillusioned information-addict sucking the tit of hope.

You’re never going to be truly happy, truly successful, or truly alive. And the moment before you die, you’ll realize you were never alive to begin with.

So, then, what’s the alternative?

Answer: Reality.

You must make a promise to yourself to live in reality each day if you want to truly live your life. Reality can be harsh, it can be embarrassing, it be uncomfortable—living in reality means living at the mercy of rejection, of failure, of messing up.

Living in reality means putting what you learned to the test, finding out if those “feel good” emotions you got learning it are actually legitimate, or just more mental masturbation with no practical application.

That’s all I need to explain about living in reality—either you get it or you don’t. And if you don’t get it, it’s not my failure as writer to define it—it’s your failure as a living human to accept it.

You were given your life as a gift, nicely packaged in a fancy plastic wrapping called “hope.” It’s your decision whether or not you’re going to open that fancy wrapping and use your life, or just admire it from a distance.




Hope or reality?

That’s your choice to make; however, you may not realize you made the wrong choice until a split second before you’re annihilated—or almost annihilated.

And if you that little anecdote fired you up, then you really have to do yourself a favor and read the chapter on "Hope versus Reality" in our book, The 4 Elements of Game. I promise the words will tattoo themselves in your brain and you'll never be able to live your life like a loser again.

It'll force you to take action and achieve the life you really want--a life filled with dating hotter girls! Live your life TODAY by clicking on the link below:

Read the chapter on choosing reality over hope in The 4 Elements of Game

To living life to the absolute fullest--today.

Rob Judge - "Want to Know the Secret to Take a Girl Home?"

By Rob Judge

Today I want to know, “How do you make your move on a girl?” I know how I make mine, but it wasn’t always obvious. It may sound ridiculous, but there was time when making a move felt like disarming a ticking time bomb—one wrong move and ka-pow! I was always afraid I’d detonate a girl’s temper and the entire interaction would blow up in my face.

While that attitude didn’t win me any girlfriends or lovers, it did teach me this: successfully making a move on a girl is a lot like working with ticking explosives. Let me explain…

If you’re anything like I was, you probably know you should make a move, but you talk yourself out of it. You wait, you hesitate, you procrastinate, and then you find yourself in the friend zone or with a girl who’s no longer interested. Later you kick yourself, “If I’d just made my move, I know I could’ve had her!” Then you meet a new girl and repeat the same mistakes with her. (Don’t worry; I know firsthand how viciously frustrating this cycle can be!)

Though, simply knowing that you should make a move is not enough. When you’re convincing yourself NOT to do something, you may be your own worst enemy—but you’re also your best negotiator. You know exactly how to convince yourself NOT to do something, and so you’ll keep doing what you’ve always done…unless you have an outside force acting on you to change.

To get over your sexual anxiety, you cannot trust yourself to “just do it”—you have to force yourself to do it. You have to bind yourself to the decision that, “I like this girl and I’m going to make a move on her—whether it feels comfortable or not.” Can you accept that? Are you ready to enjoy a life filled with passionate interactions with the women you’re attracted to?

If so, I introduce you to…



The Ticking Time Bomb of Sexual Ecstasy!

The steps are very simple, and forcing yourself to follow the steps is even simpler. Essentially, you set up a date with a girl—ideally pick a place close to where you live. Then, you leave some “time bomb” in your house or apartment that requires you return within 1 to 2 hours of meeting your date.

Make sure your time bomb is something serious—potentially even something that could cause “damage” if you leave it unattended after 1 to 2 hours. Here are some suggestions:

1.) Give your dog way too much water so you will absolutely need take it for a walk within an hour or so (if you’re gone for too long, the dog will pee all over your place)
2.) Prepare a meal or snack that requires you place it in a hot oven for an hour (if you’re gone for too long, the house might burn down)
3.) Set all your alarm clocks (or even your burglar alarm) to go off (if you don’t return, your neighbors will call the cops)

You get the drift. Get creative with your “ticking time bomb”—just make sure it’s not some wimpy excuse that you can easily ignore and continue to spend long hours with her, without inviting her back to your place. Personally, my favorite “time bombs” are ones that involve an activity you and her can enjoy together (like a meal you cooked)… so bonus points if you can keep your time bomb as “romantic” as possible.

This is a very simple tip, but one that most guys need to implement to achieve the love life they desire. If I had to cite the two biggest improvements to my game, they’d be: 1.) getting over my approach anxiety, and 2.) getting over my sexual escalation anxiety. Unfortunately, it’s easier for most guys to get over their approach anxiety than their sexual anxiety. Simply asking for a female opinion is a lot more comfortable than asking a girl to come home with you.

However, I promise you that if you can get over this fear of sexual escalation, you can multiply the number of girls you attract by a factor beyond your wildest imagination. While this little tidbit covers how to ask a girl to come home with you, my book “The 4 Elements of Game” covers every aspect of the interaction—from opening to making her your girlfriend, and everything in between. If you want an elite knowledge of attraction and dating that will put you in a position to meet, attract, seduce, and date your dream girl, check out this page:

The 4 Elements of Game

Rob Judge; The 7 Deadly Mistakes of Approaching A Woman That Will Turn Her Off Instantly

By Rob Judge 

Often Women Know Within the First 10 Seconds of Meeting a Man Whether They Are Going to Sleep with Him or Not…So Here Are The 7 Things Most Men Do To Immediately Disqualify Themselves—And How to Make Sure You Avoid All Of Them

7. Trying Too Hard

Have you ever seen a guy who was so obviously trying to act cool or look important, but he just ended up being the guy all the women laughed about later and made fun of? Sure you have. Just like me, I’m sure you’ve had attractive female friends that always seem to hookup with the guy who “doesn’t seem to care”…but for some reason they never considered you, even though you put in way more effort.

What’s up with that? Actually it’s very simple…

Women don’t hookup with the guy who’s “putting in the most effort.” They hookup with guys they perceive to be “attractive”—which is just a convenient way to say “guys they think are cooler than they are.” And nothing says to a woman “you’re way cooler than me” than a guy who exerts a lot of effort in an interaction—especially when meeting someone for the first time.

I realize this isn’t always obvious. It may be hard to chill out and stop trying so hard…but get used to it. Until you relax and keep yourself from obviously trying to “get” her attention and attraction, you’ll never even get off the ground with attractive woman.

6. Chatting But Not Attracting

What do most guys do when they are talking with a woman they find attractive? Right! They turn into Dr. Phil and play daytime talk show host as they “interview her” and try to pick topics she likes…

Well, here’s a newsflash for you…you will NEVER SPARK ATTRACTION WITH A WOMAN BY JUST AIMLESSLY CHATTING WITH HER! Woman are stimulated by emotions and tension (a.k.a., flirting). Just think of the adventurous types of men women tend to like…bad boys, rock stars, and celebrities.

For most of us guys, women don’t immediately drool over us based on our looks or status—so how in the world do we expect to stoke her attraction by just having a boring chat? Yet we all do it. When a woman gives us her attention, we try to play it safe, ask the questions we think she’ll like, talk about stuff that’s neutral or common, and do our best to keep her talking to us. Bad idea. One that will never fan the flames of her attraction.

5. Apologize For Liking Her

Another huge and avoidable mistake that most guys make with when approach a woman is apologizing for feeling attracted to her—or even apologizing for wanting to talk to her. Attractive women intimidate most guys. And they get men bending over backwards to appease them all the time. Men jump through their hoops, do whatever it takes to keep them happy, and often go out of their way to make sure they feel “comfortable” and “not offended.”

And guess what? Attractive women wait until guy-after-guy admits SHAMEFULLY that he’s attracted to her. Sometimes the guy doesn’t come outright and say it, instead he’ll pretend he’s interested in something she likes and use that as a pretext for a date: “Let’s go see Twilight together—and I’ll pay!” Even if the guy actually has the balls to tell her directly, often he first apologizes for wanting to talk to her: “I’m sorry to bother you but…”

This signals to the woman that you’re just like all the other guys who are so intimidated by her that you feel you the need to “hide” or “apologize for” the fact you like her—all because you think that makes her feel “more comfortable” around you.

Don’t do it. Be confident in your feelings. You don’t need to come right out and proclaim exactly what you’re feeling, but definitely don’t try to cover it up—or apologize for it.

4. Taking Yourself Too Seriously

One of the most common mistakes that a guy can make is getting overly emotional before a woman even knows him… because he is taking the interaction (and himself) way too seriously… and investing all of his male ego and pride into one interaction, with one girl (who he doesn’t even know yet!). And sure, as men, it can be hard to get over our pride when approaching a woman for the first time.

But YOU MUST.

We all know women love men with a sense of humor, yet how can we be “funny” or even “interesting” if we are trying to micromanage every aspect of an interaction with an attractive woman? Instead, relax. Lighten up. Learn to laugh a little at yourself. And you’ll see this attitude will attract women to you like a magnet.

3. Making It Obvious You Rehearsed Your Approach

Earlier I mentioned that it’s a mistake to try so hard that you make it apparent you see the woman as “cooler” than you. Well, another way men signal to a woman they feel “less cool” than her is by rehearsing their approach. Put another way, guys worry about every detail of an approach—from the opening line to how to ask for her number—and they play and replay the scene in their head. Another bad idea…

Women are never attracted to men who aren’t in control of a situation and display leadership qualities (a.k.a., confidence)…women just aren’t attracted to insecure wimps! Don’t worry that you need to rehearse every detail before approaching a woman. Just do it—and feel confident that you can handle whatever happens!

2. Not Understanding How To Tactfully Move Things Forward

Now I’m going to blow you away with a little insider dating secret… A woman is expecting you to move an interaction forward… and actually will get turned off if you fail to do so. Let me say this again: If you don’t move an interaction toward intimacy and get physical with her, women will actually LOSE their attraction to you.

I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you’re talking to a girl for more than a couple minutes, she’s probably already thinking, “Okay, when is going to ask for my number?” or even, “Okay, so when is he going to kiss me?” And if you don’t do it—or fail to do it smoothly—then she’ll actually “cool off” and start thinking of ways to dismiss you: “I think we’re better off just being friends…”

And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating… Confidently approaching a woman, going for the number, asking her out, kissing her, getting sexual… everything. If you hesitate or don’t know what to do in each situation, you will end up losing EVERYTHING. And you know it.

It is crucial that you understand how to tactfully move from one step to the next with a woman… from the approach, all the way to the bedroom.

1. Not Seeking Out Direction or Help

Here it is: The most deadly mistake men make that ensures they remain single and never date the girl they really want. This is the one mistake that holds men back from EVER having the kind of success with women that would leave them truly satisfied. I know, we’re guys so we hate to seem helpless—we don’t even like to ask for directions, let alone dating help.

I’d know, I was there myself at one point. A couple years ago, I moved to New York City after graduating college and felt completely frustrated that I’d pass beautiful women all day, but I didn’t have a clue how to approach them, meet them, and get dates with them. It was like slow torture!

One weekend I met up with a friend from college, and we spotted 2 women we wanted to meet, but neither of us had the balls to approach them. I can still see the movie of that night playing in my head…right then I decided I had to do whatever it took to learn how to successfully meet and date women.

Well, after lots of “field work” and trying all kinds of crazy tips and techniques, I finally mastered it. And it was definitely worth it. I no longer feel that paralyzing feeling of insecurity… like I don’t know if I’ll ever meet a girl I’m really attracted to… and I might end up single forever. I know that I can just stroll outside and meet beautiful woman anytime, anywhere.

I’ve written a book on the topic, and I’ve coached guys all across the United States… and taught thousands of men all across the world. If you’re serious about getting this area of your life handled and you want to discover what really works, click on the link below to learn more.

The 4 Elements of Game

Rob Judge